


Harry Potter and The Tears of Life

by cronaisawriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adoption, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Character, Bisexual Male Character, Black Hermione Granger, Depression, Family Feels, Indian Harry Potter, Other, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, asian luna lovegood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cronaisawriter/pseuds/cronaisawriter
Summary: Harry Is a ghost going through life. Until He goes to a grisly scene and sees innocence and his past all tied up in a little face.





	1. Endings

After the war there a few weeks of funerals no one spoke much, lots of tears were shed.  
When everyone went home, Harry stayed with the Weasleys. The house was as full as it had always been. But somehow it seemed empty. Time passed slowly, there were lots of staring into empty space. Gorge and Molly cried a lot. Ginny would cry too. She and Harry would sit together and just not be alone. Hermione did the same with Ron. Bill and Fleur were the ones running the home.

Time started to move again when they helped rebuild Hogwarts. Most every wizard who lived through the last battle were there. People joked and laughed some. There was still mourning but people seemed lighter. Somehow being reminded others had lived, and seeing a place that had at one point been home to them all be whole again breathed new life into there gaping mouths.

Harry was one of the exceptions. His mouth only felt dry, his chest hurt whenever he breathed. Getting up the energy to talk to any of the people around him felt like he was preparing to run a marathon. he only truly felt alive when he saw Teddy. The kid meant the world to harry. Somehow seeing a kid so innocent gave Harry a small shred of hope.

The seventh years and fifth years spent the summer re-studying and taking the tests. Most did great, they had used their knowledge for real. Harry again was an exception. He barely passed even DADA. McGonagall asked if he was okay he said he was, she knew better. She gave him a week smile which he returned and he left. Deciding he never wanted to step foot in that office again with its walls covered in the photos of dead men. Walking through the halls he saw flashes of him as a child and him as a broken adult. Most of the paintings had been restored and they all gave Harry smiles, proud to be in their spots again. The smell of the old stone walls made Harry feel ill.

Everyone started moving forward when they were done at Hogwarts. Molly was running her house again. Ginny went to school, Harry and she mutually split much to everyone's surprise. Harry knew the world thought they were supposed to be together everyone said so. But Ginny didn't want to be tied down yet. Harry didn't have the energy to play good boyfriend. So the effort would be performative at best.

Harry spent most of his time sitting in his flat reading, not eating and watching tv. Which he had bought because he actually liked watching not just listening.

Time passed before he knew it he was giving a speech at an annual remembrance day for those who had lived through and those who they had lost during the war and the battle of Hogwarts. Harry spoke with all the convection he could set up a facade to hide how tired he was. Sleep was not a thing he seemed to be able to get which worsened the flashbacks. But when he did sleep nightmares. Harry was also in constant physical pain. He had all these points of stinging burning pain through his whole body.

Harry stayed inside for a month after that. Everything felt dead. Hogwarts was over, the war was over, his relationship was over  
He knew he had to do something. So Harry got a job as an Auror something he had planned on doing for years. He was fine with it. He goes home and drinks after every day. He sent his days hunting horrible humans, and the night fighting his own broken mind. The person who seemed to empathize best was George he had lost his other half. They would sit and drink together when Harry stayed his obligatory weekend at the Weasleys.

He worked hard for six months. He did everything he was told. He was promoted just two months in. Harry didn’t mind chasing wizards practising dark magic but, Harry hated cases where children were involved. He would look at their scared little faces and his heart would hurt. The wizarding equivalent of foster care sucked. They mostly stayed in relatives house which made Harry's stomach turn there was no vetting the parents or wizarding group homes and if not that they were sent to the muggle system if one parent was a muggle. They could be adopted out of the group homes. But it was a quick process, you only needed four character references, an interview and then bam you could sign the papers. Anyone could do that, There was no way to know how the people would actually care. Fuck they could at least use vitiserum.

Three years passed Harry waited in his office for something to do. He imagined how tonks and moody would be if they could see him too. Moody would yell constant vigilance, Tonks would bum into something.

Harry was called to an old house. He walked in with his partner. Two dead bodies of the couple who owned the house laid on the carpet, Her wand was next to the women, the other wizard wand was tucked under his hand next to his head. They were suspected blood purists so the lower level non-auror wizard cops had called the Aurors. Harry knew this wasn’t a murder about anything political this was a murder-suicide.

Harry then whipped around when he heard banging coming from upstairs. He drew his wand and crept to the door of a bedroom. The door was locked and he could hear crying on the other side.


	2. Beginings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets the crying behind the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Child abuse, unsanitary, starvation, dehydration

Harry turned to his partner. “Get the bodies out of here.”  
Harry hissed.  
Harry opened the door and saw a girl kneeling tear marks running down her face snot hanging out of her nose. Her hands bloody from scraping and banging on the door. She was in clothes that stunk of urine. She was about four Harry surmised. Her thick black hair hung down her back with knots in it. Harry knelt down.  
“You okay?” He whispered.  
“What happened to mom and daddy?" The girl asked starring on the ground.  
Harry gazed around the room. The room was sparsely furnished besides a bed and a desk. the closet stood open and some books were tucked under the bed.  
“They are dead,” Harry said plainly not wanting to lie to the girl.  
She sniffed and sighed placing her head in her hands.  
“Daddy said he would kill her.” She whispered after a long pause.  
She then screamed obviously the horror set in. The glass in the windows shattered and Harry felt a thick wave of magic come from her.  
“Nothing is going to happen to you. I'm Harry and I’ll keep you safe.” Harry reassured her wringing his hands.  
She looked up her small brown face covered in snot and tears, punctuated by bloodshot deep brown eyes with warm undertones.  
“Okay.” She whispered.  
Harry gave her his hand. She took it. He took her to the loo and told her to wash her face. She did she turned back her face glistened with water. Her face was no longer streaked with tears and mucus but her eyes were still red and purple around the iris  
“Why don’t you change your clothes. You’ll feel better.” Harry said taking this moment by moment. Suppressing the flashbacks to his own time locked up with no food.  
The girl nodded. She changed from her solid clothes to a pair of too big jeans and a t-shirt.  
“How old are you?” Harry asked  
“Five.” She replied.  
Harry nodded. He needed to figure out if she was healthy, and she was much too short and a thing for her age, he bet it wasn’t the first time she had gone without food. He brought her downstairs. Harry was pleased the bodies were gone. But the sight of the bodies still hung in his eyes. The man was pale and the air of death hung around him turning his skin to a Voldemort colour. The women he figured would have been beautiful if she didn't smell of death. She had skin a shade darker than her daughters and he wondered if had her eyes not been cloudy they would have shown the earnest loving feel of her daughters.  
The living member of the family started to cry again when she looked around the room. harry lead her into the kitchen hoping some food would calm her down. Harry checked the cabinet for non-spoiled food. The electricity in the house had been cut so the fridge was a mess.  
He found granola bars, knowing little snacks were best for kids like himself, like her. He corrected himself. Small food was less likely to make you puke after you had not eaten for a while.  
He handed one the girl they sat at the table as he poured two glasses of water.  
“What's your name?”  
“Arushi Matthews,” She said in between gulps of waters.  
Harry refilled his glass and sat down.  
“Do you have any other family? Like grandparents?” He asked.  
“No, mum and dad said they died.” She said softly.  
“Okay. Would you like to come to my house? So you can sleep somewhere safe tonight?”  
Harry asked.  
Araushi nodded in turn. Her eyes suspicious, she crossed her arms in front of her.  
Harry noticed that he probably had looked like she did now when he was a kid. Suspicious of kindness but not wanting to turn it down. He had looked like her in more ways than one. The dark thick hair, the brown skin. Except he had ended up with his mother's green eyes. Her hair also might not be quite so uncontrollable. He was told he looked like his father. Harry's dad had been full Indian his mother white. His dad's genes had won out, except for the eyes. Arushi seemed to be the opposite.  
Harry ignored his partners protest for taking Arushi to his flat. He got Gatorade from the fridge and poured some out for Arushi. He liked the stuff. He had bought after Hermione had yelled at him for not drinking some potion to keep him from like dying of no something another. He found the potion disgusting and the Gatorade tasty.  
He got some bread and was about to toast it with his wand when Arushi squealed, he turned to her  
“what's wrong?”  
“toast hurts my mouth”  
“would you like some regular bread?” he asked.  
She nodded. He passed her the uncooked bread.  
As Harry watched her eat he wondered how much magic she had been exposed too. She had shown she had it in spades blowing out the windows. But the house had seemed exceedingly muggle no magic is sight, nothing like Grimmauld place or the burrow.  
He himself had created a blend of magic and muggle in his house. He had a cell phone, a computer, muggle books and a tv. He bought the muggle food he liked and went to muggle pubs. But he used his wand all the time, shopped in Diagon alley for books and magic candy. Hermione had also bought her and Ron a telephone and some muggle books on science. She did it to try and blend science and magic. Harry did it because he wanted to know the muggle news, and because mixing muggle and wizard made him feel connected to his parents, plus it was full of people who knew nothing of him or the wizarding war.  
He looked at her deciding to ask her some questions.  
“When is your birthday?”  
“August seventh.” She said nibbling  
“Do you have a favourite colour?”  
“Purple. not like bruises like flowers.” She explained.  
Harry grimace but nodded.  
“Do you have any toys at home you want me to get?”  
She shook her head.  
“Do you have any friends?”  
She shook her head again.  
Harry nodded, decided that was enough for that night.  
Arushi was allowed to sleep in the room teddy stayed in when he came to visit. Harry laid in his bed and slept that night better than he had in awhile.


	3. The First Two Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry learns how to be a father and takes the plunge

The first two weeks passed in mostly silence. Harry was mostly watching for signs of illness. He had also called Hermione he was going out of town for two months for his job. She had said okay and be safe. Harry was lying of course, but thankfully Hermione had gotten less nosy as she got older, as she had learned to be completely aggravated with Mrs Weasley tendency to want to know everything and anything she and Ron were doing, and when they were getting married. Ginny had written him a letter saying she would miss him, but that she was loving being a Holyhead harpie so she knew he would like travelling. Harry had smiled at the letter. He knew he would always love Ginny. He was a Weasley and he loved them all, but she was also his first romantic love as well. Harry quit the Auror department had gone less than fantastic as everyone wanted to know what Harry was doing, Harry had given them the death glare which worked. He hated that it worked. But a lot of people he worked with actually found him scary as Harry was quick to anger with the people they chased earning a reputation as a hardass.  
The next week went better. Harry and Arushi ’s went to a muggle store and he had let her buy some toys. He had stocked the fridge with foods the kid liked. As well as buying himself a large thing of ice cream.  
They had aperated back home, turns out she actually liked side along apparition much of Harry's confusion.  
Arushi seemed confused by everything he was doing. She had nightmares neer every night. Harry would sit next to her, but he never touched her as that made things worse. She had actually walked into his room one night when he was having a particularly egregious nightmare of finding Hermione and Ron dead with Voldemort standing over them. Arushi had sat next to him and held his hand.  
The next month passed quickly, Harry taught Arushi chess and she made him dance. Harry bought her a computer game which she loved. They read a lot harry helping her learn many. Harry had acquired a new love of reading after the war which Hermione loved. Harry enjoyed sharing the new love with Arushi. Arushi seemed to love reading. She had a lot of difficulties but learning the words made her happy.  
Harry also showed her quidditch she had known of the sport but never played. He even bought her a training broom under a glamour. She was not a big fan originally but after Harry allowed the broom to fly at higher levels she loved it. He and Harry would toss the ball back and forth. He figured she would be an excellent Quidditch player.  
At the end of their two months, Harry sat next to her on the floor where she was colouring with magic colour changing crayons, a harry original invention.   
“Hey, Arushi?” He said quietly.  
“Yeah?” She said turning to him her dark eyes looking worried.  
“Do you want to stay with me longer?”  
“Don’t send me away!” She yelled looking terrified.  
“No, I want to know if it would be okay with you. If I made it so you could stay here forever?” He asked.  
“My parents are dead. I can’t be with them I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.” She said. Rocking back and.forth  
“Then I’ll try and keep you here forever.” He said smiling at her.  
She smiled back. She did something for the first time. She crawled on his lap and hugged him. Nuzzling her face on his shoulder.  
\--  
Harry went to the ministry of magic after the two months were up. Harry walked into the department of child welfare. Whose main job was tracking underage wizard, this disgusted Harry as he thought their main job should be actual child welfare.  
He asked if he could petition to adopt Arushi. They shrugged checked for relatives, turned out that her mother had been muggle born something that made Harry wonder why they were on a blood purist watch list something Kingsley had set up. But on the semi-bright side, her mom was an only child and her parents were dead. On her father's side she had a long line of wizards, he too was an only child. His parents were dead, but his parents had five siblings. They flooded their homes, all scoffed and asked why they would want a child of dirty blood. This answered Harry's question of them being on the blood purist watch list. At that point, there were no barriers to harry petitioning to adopt the child. They informed him they needed no character witness and he was Harry Potter they knew he was fine and good. They just had him sign some papers.   
Harry left with a signed adoption certificate. He rode up on one of the elevators and aprarted in the elevator when it reached the top. He arrived in his bedroom. He walked out into the living room to see Arushi making the books, chess set, pictures and another junk float around. Harry suppress a laugh. This was one the happiest time he had seen the girl. Harry knocked on the door, knowing the girl hated being snuck up on. She looked at him and the object fell to the ground.  
He sat next to her. He gave her the papers.   
“Adoption?” She asked obviously not understanding.  
“It means you can stay with me forever.” He Explained.  
She smiled brightly and danced around to the music coming out the radio looking so happy. Harry could swear a glow was coming from her, but he knew that couldn’t be true.


	4. Family Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rest of the family meets Arushi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disordered eating cw, Mentions of Abuse, Depression

The next day Harry woke up to Hermione standing over him. Her tight curls brushing Harry's face. He had passed out on the couch.  
“Harry it's so good to see you!” She said loudly her eyes shining her black skin shining in the bright light.  
Harry sat bolt upright. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was going to explain everything to them first.  
Ron’s pink freckled face grinning at him.  
Arushi walked out from the room bleary-eyed rubbing her face.  
Hermione and Ron looked at the girl confused. She looked frightened running to harry.  
“Harry!” She squealed jumping on the couch behind him.  
Harry turned to Arushi. “Hey, they're fine, its Hermione and Ron. I told you about them.”  
“Oh.” She said. Obviously not convinced.  
“Hi, guys,” Harry said sounding tired.  
“Who is she?” Ron asked walking around the couch to face Arushi who placed her face into Harry's back.  
“This is Arushi. She is my adopted...kid” Harry said. As he had never gotten to ask the chance to call her his daughter.  
“What!” Hermione and Ron yelled in unison.  
“ Calm down,” Harry said. Feeling Arushi shake behind him. It had become clear to harry the kid was very nervous about things. Yelling scared her. New people scared her. Crowds scared her. She also didn’t understand a lot of things when it came to people.  
“Okay,” Ron said taking a deep breath. “When did this happen?”  
“I was on a house call, murder, two months ago, I found her. Starving locked in her bedroom. Obviously for days. She was malnourished and had no clothes that fit it was awful. I took her, and yesterday I adopted her.” Harry explained.  
“So you haven't been away. You've been hiding a kid.” Hermione breathed.  
Harry just nodded. Arushi climbed into Harry's lap hiding her face.  
“Why?” Ron asked.  
“Isn’t it obvious? Hermione said. “Harry’s aunt uncle locked him up, and starved him, he had no new clothes, and he’s Indian. She is just like Harry, so Harry couldn’t part with her, she is him.” Hermione explained.  
“She had no one,” Harry said trying to keep calm. “Her father killed her mother. And her grandparents are blood supremacist who won't take her because she is a half-blood.”   
“I think it's good,” Ron said.  
“How?” Hermione challenged.  
“Gives harry a reason to live. Gives the kid a life” Ron said shrugging.  
The words hit too home for Harry. It had been an unconscious reason, both of the things they said. Harry had suppressed both of them. He had focused on taking care of her, not on why he did it. But it was true Arushi helped Harry not fall into his old pattern of mindlessly existing while vaguely thinking he should not exist anymore he had no one to save. He didn’t have to think about it, just Arushi.  
Hermione gazed around the room. The room looked like any house with kids. Toys were in a basket. Kids computer games were stacked under the computer monitor. The books shelves had a mix of adult books, magic books, and kids books. He even had the tales of the beetle and the bard. DVDs and VHS tapes were on a shelf next to the tv. Mostly kids stuff with a few regulars. By the door a kids coat and wellies hanging next to adult ones. Magic Photos of Arushi, Ron and Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and others covered the precious little wall space. Hermione went to see the rest of the place. Kids drawings hung on the fridge. The cabinets held a respectable mix of junk and good food. The fridge was the same. She went into Harry's bedroom. Looked about the same as it had before except for a drawing of Harry and Arushi placed next to a photo of him with dumbledore's army. Arushi’s room had a kids bedroom set. Lots of clothes in the closet. Hermione walked back into the living room.  
Harry noted tears standing in her eyes. She started to cry. Ron walked over to her and held her  
“Why's she crying?” Arushi asked.  
“I don’t know,” Harry mumbled staring at his weeping friend and Ron's frustrated face.  
“It's lovely Harry, What you've done for her.” She said with a shaky cadence.  
“What's wrong Hermione?”  
“I’m pregnant.” She said.  
“Oh,” Harry said.  
She nodded. Ron smiled a half smile.  
“And I hope our house is as loved as this one.” She said sounding surer.“I don’t think this is a vanity project, I should have known, you don’t think before you act but you do follow through. And you would never do anything to hurt an innocent”Hermione said with finality.  
“Now that we're past that,” Harry said. “Arushi, Meet my best friends Ron and Hermione.”  
Arushi Waved uncertainty.  
“I’m Ron,” Ron said coming over and kneeling in front of the girl. “He ever gives you trouble, come see me. Or if he bores you to death.” He said smiling.  
Hermione walked over, “Hi Arushi. I’m Hermione. But if that's too hard monie is fine that's what that oaf calls me. You ever need some girl time I'm there.” She said with a smile tears still standing in her eyes.  
Arushi smiled shyly.   
Two days later Arushi turned to harry as he cooked dinner.   
“Are you my daddy now?”   
“Do you want me to be?” He asked turning to face her and bending down so they were at eye level.  
“Yes.” She said, “You want me.”  
“I do want you, Then can I call you my daughter?”  
“Yes.”  
Harry smiled. She hugged him knocking him on to the ground.  
Arushi had gone from not wanting to even hold his hand to being clingy and always wanting to cuddle.  
Three weeks passed. And Harry was braiding Arushi’s long hair. Arushi had taught him how over the past month after he had been allowed to touch her. Harry had also asked Luna to show him. Luna, Hermione, Neville, and Ron were the only ones who had met Arushi, but today was the big one. The rest of the Weasley and teddy lupin were going to meet her. Harry was terrified, he knew they were going to want all the details and to be completely honest he didn’t know all of them. He knew she had been locked up, and malnourished she had been incredibly skinny, he also figured there had been some violence in the house. She also knew her parents were obviously awful to each other that was evident in the murder-suicide. But she didn’t know much else about her time before. She knew about magic but had never been taught at a co-op, or a muggle school. Her mother had taught her to read a bit, but Harry had done most of the work. He sighed looking at his braid which looked pretty good. She was in her best dress it was blue with stars. She wore a white long sleeve shirt underneath. She had on stocking and would be wearing her winter boots as Ron had told him the house was covered in snow, and the temperature was freezing. Harry wore a wizard cloak like a proper wizard. He had on slacks and a muggle jumper underneath. He glasses were on straight. He wondered why he was deeply nervous about seeing the Weasleys. They had seen him at his worst when he was eating nothing and barely wanting to shower or clean his teeth.   
Harry was actually eating most of the time, and his hygiene was considerably better. He knew he was still skinny as when it was a bad day eating seemed incredibly hard. Arushi did what Harry knew was a classic move of the starving kid, Harry would go into her room and find food tucked into her clothes in her dresser. She was also very particular about food. They both had nightmares and bad days. Harry tried his best to hide his, he never allowed himself to stay in bed all day, and he tried to hide his sadness and anger but he knew it showed through. He sighed they were a mess, one he didn’t know if Mrs Weasley would want to continue.  
The clock struck the appropriate time. He took Arushi’s hand and they walked out into the alley beside the apartment building. Harry’s apartment was warded against apration directly in.  
They arrived next to the burrow. “You ready?” Harry said to Arushi.  
She nodded and smiled at Harry. He breathed out. They walked into the burrow to see gorge sleeping on the couch. Harry walked over and looked. He still looked rough five years on, Harry walked past and saw Mrs Weasley cooking and Ginny eating the finished chips.   
“Hi,” Harry said after a long breath.  
“Harry!” Mrs Weasley shouted making both Harry and his daughter jump.  
Ginny rushed over and hugged him.   
“Where is the girl?” Mrs Weasley asked.  
Harry turned behind him knowing she had hidden behind him. He bent down and lifted the small girl up.  
She turned her face into Harry's shoulder.  
“This is my daughter, Arushi,” He said.  
“Hi, darling.” Mrs Weasley said.  
Arushi turned her face to look at the two girls in front of him.  
Charlie, Ron and Hermione, Percy and Audrey, Bill and Fleur four-year-old Victorie came down the stairs obviously late to the time they were to arrive as always.  
Harry backed up instinctively. The noise and bodies kicking his fight and flight instinct into gear. They all started chatting and trying to see Arushi.  
Ashuri was obviously scared pushing her hands over her ears. Harry knew what was about to happen. Much to the crowds surprise they were all pushed backwards charlie falling down as Ron bumped into him. Harry was amused when he heard a snort behind him as George walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.  
Harry smiled back at him.  
“Sorry guys, You just frightened her,” Harry said as they righted themselves.  
“I think it's brilliant, you lot can be exceedingly loud,” Gorge said.  
Mrs Weasley straightened her dress.   
“How about we sit down to eat.” She said, obviously deciding to ignore the magic until, Harry bet, they were alone.  
Harry sat down placing Arushi next to him.  
Mrs Weasley laid out all the food. He noted that the table was even bigger then it had been when Harry was a child, made to accommodate an ever-growing family. Ginny sat next to harry after helping her mom pass out the food. She gave Harry a weak smile, Harry returned it.   
They all ate in silence for a minute. Before Ron started to laugh which brought the whole table save Arushi, Fleur and Mrs Weasley to laugh. The latter two just smiled.  
“How old is she?” Fleur asked Harry. After the laughter died down.  
“She's five,” Harry said.  
“She is quite small then,” Charlie noted.  
Harry just nodded in return. No need for them to know the girl had been starved half to death.  
“What do you like to do?” Ginny asked Arushi.  
“Books, Colouring, tea,” she said softly staring down at the food in front of her.  
They all drifted into their own conversations taking the heat off Harry and his girl. After no one was staring at her Arushi started to eat slowly staring around her. Harry knew she was checking she wasn’t about to have it taken away from her.  
Harry rubbed her back absentmindedly with one hand.  
Eating with the other. Harry ate as much as his nervous stomach would allow. He was still stressed. They had gone out places over the last three months, but it hadn’t been often and it had always been quick. Harry had actually gotten used to the quite. Just the two of them. And maybe two guests in the past few weeks. But it was quiet. Luna and Neville mostly talking softly with Arushi as Harry read, sometimes talking to Harry about things. Neville had bought them a plant that would smell like different things based on what you watered it with. Luna had given Harry a charm to keep away the wrackspurts. And sent them every edition of the Quibbler. Arushi loved luna the most out of the visitor's luna was quite and would do just about anything Arushi wanted to do. Luna also knew some Indian traditions that Arushi’s mom used to do. Luna being Chinese was quite fond of learning about different cultures traditions as she had always tried to keep her alive. Hermione understood feeling like a fish out of water, but she like Harry had lived in white suburbia and had been cut off from their traditional cultures.  
Harry almost wanted to cast Mimblewimble make them all shut up and just leave. He knew that was an asshole thing to do but fuck was he tired. After dinner, they all dispersed to the living room where Mrs Weasley turned on the radio and everyone talked with the background noise of the radio.   
“Oh, Harry. Teddy and Andromeda will be here around suppertime” Ginny said to Harry smiling.  
Harry smiled. Harry hadn’t seen teddy in three months. Harry had seen him on his monthly trip to the burrow along with Andromeda letting Harry watch Teddy periodically. Harry loved Teddy as was the best thing to come out of the war and Harry loved him deeply. Arushi climbed into Harry's lap and laid her head on him obviously tired. Harry wrapped his arm around her.  
“You love her,” Ginny said.  
“Yeah, I do.”  
“You were ready way before I ever could have been,” Ginny said softly so only Harry could hear.  
“I guess so.”  
“Family heald you. Quidditch was what was best for me. Flying travelling it helped.”  
“That's good.”  
Harry smiled at Ginny. Who smiled back. Harry was glad they hadn’t forced anything, it was better.  
Teddy and Andromeda showed up as planned at Super. Harry was glad to see teddy who caught him up on everything he had missed. He also talked to Arushi as much as she would. Harry hoped they could be friends. They were very close in age.  
Hermione came over to Arushi after dinner.   
“Ginny, Fleur and I are going to go upstairs have some girl time want to come?”  
Arushi looked at Harry. He nodded she took Hermione's hand and they left.  
Harry stopped fleur as she was about to go up.  
“She really doesn’t do loud noises, or shouting and might not like to be touched. Please be careful with her.”  
“We will be very calm I promise.”  
Harry nodded. He knew they were taking her to give Mrs Weasley some Harry interrogation time.  
“Harry dear can we talk.”  
Harry suppressed the urge to get Arushi and run but followed Mrs Weasley all the same.  
“Harry I'm just wondering what you think you are doing?”  
“I’m being a father,” Harry said   
“Look I know you think this is what you want. But you don’t have a wife to take care of her when you go back to work. And the girl is almost six, your only twenty-four.”  
“She had nowhere to go. She needed a father, I am her father.”  
“Harry, I’m just worried about you. You were not doing very well the last time I saw you. And your still so skinny and you look tired.”  
“I am tired. But I have enough energy to be there for her.”  
“Harry.”  
“Fleur had a kid when she was this age, so did you, and Hermione is pregnant why am I different?” Harry asked  
“Because they have someone to raise the kid with. And they aren’t picking up where someone else left off.”  
“Mrs Weasley, please. I’m doing a good thing for me and her. And I love it.” Harry said pleading. He didn’t realise how much he wanted her approval.  
“Harry, did you see how powerful her accidental magic is how can you control that?”  
“It's protective. She came from a broken place her magic was used to deal with it. If I can keep her feeling safe it won’t be so bad. And I’ve read a lot about parenting a magical kid, and orphans. I’m ready!”  
“How do you know you're really ready?”  
“Because I love her more than life itself.”  
“Yes, Harry. I know that. I'm just worried.”  
“I appreciate it.”  
She hugged Harry, “congratulations.”  
Harry smiled  
“Also convince Ronald to propose to Hermione.” Mrs Weasley laughed.  
“Will do.”  
Harry Sat with Arushi at home. Arushi was asleep next to him in her bed. Harry had come in to stop the monsters. She was curled into him. Harry laughed to himself. Tears In his eyes. They were fighting the monsters together in their dreams, no matter what they were. And they would fight together. A family


	5. Going Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing

Harry and his daughter were eating some canned chicken noodle soup. Harry had learned Arushi’s food preferences. She hates crunchy things, tough meat and anything that smelled strongly. She was pretty good with veggies if he cooked them. Harry mostly just ignored meat as it wasn't necessary according to what he read. Harry knew he needed to get more clarity on what he suspected had happened to Arushi.   
“hey love,” Harry asked  
She looked up   
“can you tell me about your other dad?”  
A flicker of fear ran across her face. “he wasn't nice”   
“I know. What did he do?”  
“he'd lock me up if I misbehaved. He said I was too strange and stupid. Mommy would try and do things help me. But then he would get mad at her. He’d use bad spells. Throw things.”  
She started to shake and then she went deathly quiet and covered her ears silently vibrating. Harry stood up and sat next to her. He rubbed her back trying to give her something comfort. She slowly uncovered her ears and met Harry's gaze.  
“Need a hug?” He asked quietly  
She nodded.  
Harry hugged her. She laid on him holding him around the neck.  
Harry warmed up her soup with a flick of his wand.   
They finished their soup. Harry was ready to fucking murder Arushi's father. Lucky for him he was already dead. Arushi and he watched movies with low volume to help keep Arushi from shutting down or melting down.  
\--  
Arushi’s birthday was upon them. Harry felt very unsure about this. They decided to do or outside the burrow under a tent. Teddy was already with him. They were getting dressed together. Teddy had spent the night there as his grandmother was visiting with Narcissa at her home, where she was under house arrest.   
They got dressed in their nice robes. They went out into the living room. Arushi was dressed in a sundress. It had sunflowers that shown multicoloured sparkles and a pale blue background. Her long black hair was in too long ponytails hanging in front of her shoulders. Harry smiled. Her breathtaking grin shown up at him. He picked her up and spun, she laughed. He put her down. Teddy pulled a face. Harry sighed and took teddys hands and spun him a circle making him smile. Teddy had his shaggy hair coloured bright bubblegum pink like his mom had loved.   
They got to the Burrow and looked around. The tent was set up with balloons in the corners. The long table had pink and yellow table clothes. Flowers were in the middle. It was a tea party birthday as that should be quite and she liked tea. Mrs Weasley, Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Neville, fleur and Victoire were the guests besides the three who had just arrived.   
They all wished Arushi a happy birthday. Six presents were stack on the edge for Arushi to open later. They sat down around the tables and poured tea. Victoire, Teddy, and Arushi sat at one end of the table. Victoire had turned five the previous month so the three kids were all basically the same age. Teddy and Victoire did most of the talking. Arushi mostly ate her food. She would rock back and forth as she did. Harry kept looking at her checking she was okay. Fleur, Mrs Weasley and Hermione talked pregnancy and babies. Ron and Neville talked about plants that could be good for joke products. Luna filled Ginny and Harry in on some of her quibbler things. Harry noticed how Ginny looked and luna. It was similar to how Ron looked at Hermione. Harry smiled. They would be good together. Harry then thought to himself, wait they’re both girls. He then mentally said fuck it. Too many people were dead, to many people have been hurt. Who gives a crap if two girls have sex.   
“Oh, Harry! Guess what! I found this for Arushi but I forgot to give to wrap it.” Luna gasped.  
She added a string with beads on it. Harry gave her a confused look.  
“Spin the beads.” Luna prompted.  
Harry did. All the beads would change the texture.  
Luna beamed. Harry smiled, Arushi would like this she was always fidgeting with stuff.  
“Oh! Guess what. They made me starting seeker.” Ginny said looking at Harry with a big grin.  
Harry hugged Ginny. She smiled at him when they pulled apart.  
Harry then discussed quidditch with ginny excitedly.  
The party went fine and Harry was glad they had it.   
Harry spent more time with the Weasleys after that. And it no longer felt like something he was obligated to do, and again felt like something he wanted to do. He still did a lot better with a smaller amount of the group than a lot. And it still seems stressful to Arushi but Harry made sure they took a long break after spending time with them. She would often go into her room and close the door needing complete quite for a while.  
Mrs Weasley offered to teach Arushi some things about wizard culture and things. They tried this but Arushi would just get extremely frustrated as she could not grasp the concepts the way Mrs Weasley taught them. Mrs Weasley commented Charlie had had a lot of the same problems. But that with everyone else this had worked perfectly. This stressed Arushi more. Harry decided to have Andromeda work with Arurshi and teddy. It went slightly better

Most things were better but Harry would still have bad days and often felt like he was still in the war, his fight or flight response always up. He would wake up scared, and every moment he was away from Arushi he would be attacked by images of her dying.  
However two months later Harry was Holding baby rose Weasley in his arms. She was adorable. He kissed her head and handed her back to Hermione. That’s your cousin. Harry told Arushi. She smiled. Arushi called all the Weasley boys and Neville uncle. And the Weasley girls and luna aunt. As far as Harry was concerned they were all family. Harry breathed in the smell of the hospital, felt the warm body in his arms, the feeling of Arushi grasping his leg. The sound of his friends breathing, Hermione's drooping eyelids, Ron's giddy expression. He felt calm, he felt like he was really and truly there in that hospital room, nowhere else.


	6. Making Change

Two months after the birthday party Harry and Arushi were sitting in the waiting room of a muggle psychologist. Harry wanted to have Arushi evaluated. Healers had looked her over and had said she was hurt by her abuse and then that “Something else is wrong” but then their only option was a bunch of potions which Harry had said no to. So Harry had chosen the muggle route. Harry was worried because she had no ability to socialize with the other kids and was so sensitive. She had trouble grasping lots of things she should. Harry knew that it didn’t really matter as much, but he just wanted to know how to help her, not change her with potions she may or may not need, he didn’t trust people who didn’t even try to understand.

The meeting went fine they asked them both lots of questions, had Arushi play some games and had Harry do some paperwork. They came back one more time for a second assessment.  
Harry sat there as the doctor went over some numbers.  
“I would say she has anxiety, PTSD, and Autism.” The doctor said.  
“Okay,” Harry said.  
“What does those words mean?” Arushi asked confused.  
“Here, the doctor said handing harry some pamphlets and a list of books and websites to look at.”  
Harry nodded.  
“But briefly. Anxiety is when you worry a lot and have lots of stress.”  
“Okay.” Arushi and Harry said.  
“PTSD comes from when your dad hurt you, makes you scared and you remember all the things really forcefully.”  
Arushi nodded.   
“And autism is a little more complicated. It means your brain is wired differently to most people. Not that it's bad you just have to work a little harder to get some things and do things differently”  
“So I am strange like dad said.” She said looking worried  
“Not bad. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.” The doctor reassured.  
Arushi nodded, not looking sure. Harry took her hand.  
“Your dad was never right for the way he treated you,” Harry said.  
Arushi nodded tears standing in her eyes.  
“We can meet again to discuss some coping skills for everything if you would like”  
“Sure,” Harry said.  
They made another appointment.  
Harry and Arushi were back at the house. Arushi went into her room and put on her headphones playing her music and rocking.  
Harry smiled she wasn’t crying and she didn’t have her scared face so Harry let her cope her way.  
Harry read through what the doctor had given him. The PTSD stuff made Harry think oh yeah I have that. He sighed. The other stuff was a little confusing. He decided he would have to ask Hermione if she could explain any of it.   
He then went to the computer and read some things by people who really have the conditions which made Harry feel better.   
He then decided he would have to go to the library to pick up the suggested books.  
A week later Harry was going over notes from the appointment. A lot of the coping skills were pretty straightforward. Deep breathing, muscle relaxation, finding a creative outlet for her.  
taking Arushi out into new situations slowly and not pushing her too hard. Letting her have sensory toys to help her deal in new places. Earplugs were a suggestion Harry really loved and they used that one when they went shopping or out to do anything, along with one of the sensory toys Harry actually started carrying something for himself as well.  
Harry had talked to Hermione about it and she had agreed when she had some free time to read some things. Surprisingly luna actually new lots of coping skills for a lot of similar experiences Arushi had.  
Harry loved that Luna and Hermione were immediately supportive.  
Luna and Ginny spent a lot of time with Harry and Arushi. They seemed to like being with them as Ginny said.  
“We can be as romancey-like here, you don’t judge us.”  
Harry liked that he was trusted by them. Honestly, he thought they were good for him and good for his daughter.   
A month later Harry went to the Ministry having let Arushi stay with Andromeda and Teddy. Harry had submitted a proposal to add a police presence and a legal team to the child welfare department to allow specially trained cops who knew how to deal with cases with traumatized children. And a legal team to prosecute people who hurt children. Along with reforms to the process to find families for children. Now Harry would hear the response.  
Harry sat in a room. The heads of the Magical law enforcement department, who at this point was the interim director Brier while Hermione was out, and the head of the child welfare department named Wilson came in.  
“I support your proposals on the whole, but I it will take time to move around personal and find funding. If you’re willing to head up the police presence by yourself and come up with the program we can get that started faster. And the lawyers will be those who volunteer and we will put out some feelers for private practice lawyers who want to give time.” Brier said.  
“As for the procedural changes we will use your stated ideas, to begin with, but it will take a very long time to implement them all,” Wilson said.  
“I will definitely run the section and come up with a training plan for those who want to join,” Harry said smiling.  
“You will also have to go without pay for the first two months while we reallocate funds,” Wilson said.  
“Perfectly fine.” Harry agreed.  
“Okay. Then it's settled.” Brier said.  
Harry was excited to be doing something to move forward. As both Ron and Ginny called it, “his stupid ass saviour complex.”   
He got back and Called Luna, she and Ginny came over with Arushi.  
“How’d it go?” Ginny said sitting on the couch flipping her shoes to the floor.  
“Fine,” Harry said pouring ginger ale for himself.  
“Daddy?” Arushi whined.  
“Whats up?” Harry asked.  
“Luna gave me a present!”  
“What’d you get?”   
Arushi showed him a scrunchie.  
“So 90’s.” Harry laughed.  
Luna came over and laid her head on Harry’s shoulder.  
“Thanks for letting us watch her Harry.” Luna sighed.  
“Well if you guys want, you can split watching her with Andromeda?”  
“Great!” Luna said clasping her hands together smiling.  
“That be okay? Aunt Luna watch you while I work?”  
“Course,” Arushi said ash she took a cup from the fridge and went to her room.  
Harry sat in his chair and fell asleep quickly.   
Ginny laughed at her friend. He looked so, young. They were of course, all of them young still. But it hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Her friends and family had been through so much. Just in this room, possession, torture, death followed them like a haze always around them. Luna had it too, less because of just how she was but it was there. It was odd right now. Some dumb movie played she and luna ate chips and their friend slept int he chair. Like maybe they were real 20 somethings. Ginny kissed Luna and laid on her shoulder.


	7. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finds a new person.

Two and a half years later Harry was with eight-year-old Arushi and nine-year-old Teddy at a wizarding playground outside of London. Arushi was on a swing going back and forth without going very high. A little girl with her curly hair in two buns on either side of her head was sitting next to her on the other swing. She had medium brown skin and she would glance up at Arushi every now and again. They seemed to talk off and on about something. Teddy was over at the Quidditch pitch on his broom.  
A man with sandy brown hair walked over to Harry. His blue eyes were so pretty, his skin was pale but not sickly. He wore a blue cable knit jumper and jeans. He sat next to Harry.  
“Hi.” He said.  
“Hi?” Harry said his hand sliding on to his wand holster.  
“She yours?” He said motioning with a hand around a travel cup to Arushi.  
“Yes,” Harry said.  
“The girl next to her is my Abby. She looks more like her mom every day and nothing like me. Whats your girl's name?”  
“Arushi.” Harry said his muscle slightly less tense.  
“Im Mark Aberdeen.” He said offering his hand to shake harry's  
“Harry Potter,” Harry said taking the hand.  
“I swear my wife mentioned your name. Must some wizard thing. You famous to wizards?”  
“Yeah, but not much.” Harry shrugged.  
“Cool. Just moved here. My wife died 8 years ago, told me about this wizard stuff before she went. Abby was only a few months old. She started showing magic a year ago so I came here, to be with her grandparents who knew something about this stuff.”  
“You just told me your whole life story.” Harry joked.  
“Well, the only person I can talk to about this magic stuff are my in-laws.”  
“Fair enough.” Harry shrugged.  
Mark smiled. God, he is hot. Harry thought to himself.   
Harry had accepted his bi-ness a while ago. Ginny and Luna had helped. It hadn’t mattered that much because he wasn’t really looking for a relationship Arushi and Teddy were what was important then.  
As if on queue Teddy came running over to Harry covered in mud.   
“Harry! I fell in the mud.”  
“I see that.”  
“Clean me off?”  
Harry pulled out his wand, he waved it and Teddy was clean.  
“Thank!” He ran back off.  
“Your kids call you Harry?”  
“No, that's my godson.”  
Mark nodded.  
“Abby is talking more than she ever does with kids,” Mark commented.  
“Arushi Seems more talkative than normal too.”  
“What do you know about something called Hogwarts?”  
“It's the most famous wizarding school in Britain,” Harry said.  
“Did you go there?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay. Is it a good school?”  
“Umm yeah. I’m friends with the herbology teacher as well.”  
“The what now?”  
“Umm plants.”  
“You have a plant class?”  
“Yeah magic plants.”  
Mark shook his head, “Magic is a mind boggle.”  
Harry grinned, “I felt the same way when I was eleven and saw it for the first time.”  
“So your, Muggle-born? I’m trying to learn the terms.”  
“No, im half-blood. Like Abby. One parent is of magic and the other is from the muggle world.”  
Mark nodded his head.  
“What's Hogwarts like though.”  
“Umm big, busy. Good food. The ground are gorgeous. The groundskeeper is the best. I like Quidditch.”  
Mark nodded.  
“And Quidditch is the sport with the flying brooms?”  
Harry nodded.  
“Okay. So what do you do for a living?” Mark asked.  
“I work in the children's welfare department at the ministry. The police division. We respond to cases involving kids.”  
“Cool.”  
“What do you do?”  
“I’m an accountant,” he said.  
Harry smiled at his deadpan delivery.  
“Fun?”  
“Nope. the most boring dribble I’ve ever done. But it pays the bills. “  
Harry smirked.  
“So. You married? No ring” Mark asked.  
“Ah nope.”  
“Girlfriend?”  
“No.”  
“Boyfriend?”  
“No.”  
“Well, I'm a widower. But ya know. I might date again, just never had the chance. Abby is my world, and she is autistic so I have to get her to all her therapies. And constantly fight against the school's ABA work.”  
“Arushi’s autistic,” Harry said his face lighting up.  
“No shit?” Mark said.  
“Yeah, I took her to a muggle doctor to try and get her some help. Her sensory problems were really hurting her. And wizards have a don’t ask don’t tell police about disability.”   
“So im guessing Hogwarts will be hard for them.”  
“Well I got my friend Hermione is pretty high in the ministry, and Neville the plants teacher are trying and work on it. And the Headmistress is a friend of mine and I’ve been talking to her too.”  
“You know everybody.” Mark sighed.  
“Not really. Just important people.” Harry joked.  
Mark looked thoughtful, "Are you some kind of big shot? Knowing everyone."  
"Kind of, There was some...trouble in the past. I worked to try and fix it. And I just got in contact with a lot of people through that."  
"I'm gonna need to learn a lot to help Abby aren't I?"  
"yeah it takes time. I grew up with muggle relatives, didn't know anything. It took lots of time to learn things."  
"yeah. What kind of stuff is the most important?"  
"Well, Gringotts is the big bank. That's where you can exchange muggle and wizard money. The money is really different and all coins which are annoying as hell, paper bills are better. Wands are important, there are a history and meaning behind them."  
"Yeah, nuts, gallons, and sickles right?"  
"exactly. You can't make food out of thin air. Floo powder travels between fireplaces, you can use that as a muggle. Apperation is how adult wizards travel a lot of the time. Brooms are another travel, as well as enchanted cars and things like that."  
The girls came walking over.  
“I like her,” Arushi said pointing to Abby.  
“Can we be friends?” Abby said to Mark.  
“Course,” Harry said.  
“I’m guessing you still have a phone?” Harry said to Mark.  
He nodded. They exchanged numbers.  
Abby and Mark left.  
“Do you like him, daddy?” Arushi asked climbing to sit next to Harry.  
“I think so.”  
“I think you do. You have a happy face.”  
Harry smiled. He had a friend who hadn’t fought in a war. Who had a daughter like his? Who harry thought was incredibly hot.

Harry Was watching tv. The kids were asleep. Harry thought about the future. Maybe he could find someone who would love him. For not being a savour, not as a childhood crush, not as a broken boy, but as who he was now. Ron and Hermione were close, but they were friends, he wanted something romantic. Possibly, Maybe.


End file.
